This Can't Be!
by ThefirstTevlek
Summary: From the episode "Married" in season 5. The reason Rhonda told everyone her origami marriage predictor was wrong. No real moments but it's aimed at the Rhonda/Harold relationship.


Author's Note: This is just a short drabble about how Rhonda found out her origami marriage predictor from the episode: "Married" was wrong.

Or at least she says it it. xD

Hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

"R-E-D" Rhonda spelled the colors aloud, manipulating the origami marriage predictor three times and then counting down her favorite number again, opening up the flap and groaning in frustration. "No, this isn't supposed to happen!"

She turned the origami piece around in her fingers again to see if it would change the name but even then the male's name she discovered on the paper was still the same. Frustrated, she threw it down onto the carpeting of her bedroom floor and flopped over onto her side. She folded her arms stubbornly, pressing them against her narrow chest while pulling up her knees slightly. Closing her eyes tightly while her body sank into the pillowtop mattress, she tried to deny the voices of all the nay-sayers she had bumped into all afternoon about her "fool proof marriage predictor" as they chanted in her brain words of "I told you so!"

"It's not true!" she snapped, opening her eyes and lifting her head; glancing warily down at the paper on the floor. "I have a reputation to uphold. This is—this is just ludacrisy!"

As if to prove her point, she rolled off of her bed and snatched up the marriage predictor, glaring at the name she had written down more on a whim than anything. She held it out at arm's length, frowning at the black ink. There, in all caps just as all of the other names had been written, was HAROLD. Oh no! Oh, yes. Harold Berman was Rhonda's chosen one. The one she was supposed to marry when she grew up. Now she knew why Arnold wanted to re-take the test over a hundred times. She had been taking and re-taking it herself ever since she got home from school after Arnold kept her so late.

"I made this! It has to be some sort of fluke because I wrote the names in a specific order or something." The words weren't convincing. And she knew why.

Ever since the end of third grade, Rhonda Llyod had been eyeing Harold Berman very, very discreetly from a distance. Why, she had no clue. He was fat, unintelligent, rude, and the only thing he ever cared about was food. What in the world would attract her to him? Maybe it was because he wasn't as dumb as he looked? He was strong, he wouldn't let anyone try to walk all over him like other boys in her class did. And then there was the incident with the kitten she had learned about. That boy had a heart that he wouldn't let others touch and it was endearing. Maybe that was why she kept inviting him to her parties.

No, she just liked the boy.

She knew it when she dragged him onto the swan for the tunnel of love ride, she knew it when he was kneeling in front of her with their shattered Courtney in his hands. Harold was capable of loving, he was capable of ambition and a lot of other things. Sure, he wasn't the best looking boy out there but for some odd reason, Rhonda's affections didn't care. Now her mind on the other hand, was completely against the idea of liking Harold Berman and even marrying him was laughable. It was her mind that fought against her results so strongly.

Plopping back onto the edge of her bed, Rhonda flipped through the predictor one more time, sighing while reading his name again and dropping it into her lap. Covering her face with her hands, she thought about how she had been so giddy inside when he touched her hand the day he was apologizing to her about eating their "baby". The loss of Courtney was sad, yes, but she was just an egg. Her closeness to Harold had been so much more special in the end, even if she acted like he was the last person on earth she would want to be around. Come on, Helga and Arnold were partnered up and nothing happened between them in the end. Of course, Helga and Arnold were not interested in one another. Helga practically hated him in everyone's good opinion. Which was understandable, since Arnold was all about the positive and she was all about the negative…they were opposites.

"I can't like Harold." She said, dejected. "If I like him, then I'll die a social death."

Wait, maybe no one could find out! That's why she had done it in private to begin with! If no one knew about it then she wouldn't have to worry about the whole school making her a laughing stock!

But even if it did get out…how would Harold react to finding out a girl liked him?

Rhonda's plan faltered as she thought about it. Harold had been so rude so often that it was hard to imagine him very pleased about Rhonda Lloyd liking, liking him. He reminded her that he knew she did the day they were assigned to be egg partners but who knows how long he would think about that! With his brain power, he could have forgotten it by the next week. Somehow, that was a little saddening. She didn't want him to forget, but at the same time she really did. Well then, she wouldn't let it get out. And to be nice, she'd tell all the other students that her marriage predictor was full of it and clear up all the tension that had stirred up yesterday.

Bet that would cheer Arnold up.

"Okay, Rhonda. Tomorrow morning, you're going to tell everyone that you're full of it, apologize, then go on with life! It's as simple as that!" She told herself firmly, laying down again. "Good plan."

* * *

"Everyone, I have an announcement!" Rhonda exclaimed the moment she got onto the bus, granted she sounded a little too enthusiastic about it and earned a look from the driver in the process. She managed to hold her ground the moment the bus began to move and revealed the marriage predictor in her hand. "Last night, much to my dismay, I discovered a flaw in my origami marriage predictor and well, the fact is, all the results are nulled and void."

As she finished her words, she wadded it up and tossed it over her shoulder casually, however there was a great sense of relief to get rid of it. She looked to the first person she had tested and spotted Sheena in closest range. Putting on a look of sympathy, she offered a hand towards her to indicate her as she spoke. "Sheena, you are not going to marry Eugene."

"Oh no," she put a hand over her heart. "Are you sure?"

Eugene seemed to look relieved.

"I'm sorry," Rhonda said briefly before turning to Pea Pod Kid. "And Pea Pod Kid, you're definitely not going to marry Nadine."

While she waved her finger, he slouched over; putting a hand to his forehead. "Oh, this is terribly, terribly distressing."

Ignoring his regret, Rhonda spotted Arnold and strode towards him, clutching her book to her chest. It was Arnold she felt the sorriest for since he had been bonded with Helga of all people. She felt her sympathy welling up when she singled him out next. "And Arnold…I am so, so sorry. Because, you were so right! You are absolutely, positively, not going to marry Helga! I apologize for any pain and torment I may have put you through." She reached down and patted his shoulder gently.

"Its okay, Rhonda." He said, offering a slight smile to show there were no hard feelings between them. Satisfied, she went and joined Phoebe for a seat and needed someone to vent her relief to.

"I am so glad I realized the mistake I made." Rhonda sighed, "I should have caught it before with the people I matched up? I mean Arnold and Helga? Can you imagine anything more ridiculous? I mean they couldn't be more opposite. If they had gotten married…Whooh…what would that have been like?"

She shuddered at the thought, unaware of Phoebe's thoughtful expression. She sighed, relieved that her secret would be safe and settled back against the bus seat, smiling to herself. Oh the joy of still being the "princess" and no one knowing just how lame she had been while thinking of Berman last night. Speaking of which…where was he? She perked up at the idea of seeing him and immediately forced herself to settle back down, catching sight of his back-wards cap while Sid leaned over the back of the seat, talking to him, Stinky laughing nasally beside him while Harold looked between the two, apparently confused about what was so funny.

Without realizing it, Rhonda Lloyd was smiling. She noticed it after a few seconds and after seeing Phoebe become absorbed in her own thoughts, she sank a little lower in her seat but kept her eyes on the back of the head a few seats before them. Yeah, this was something to be kept a secret. As if anyone else would struggle this much to keep their feelings secret to protect their reputations like she did.

But all she had to do to be proven wrong…was look two rows behind her at the girl with the pink bow…

* * *

A/N: We all know Rhonda doesn't care about people as much as she should so she has no idea Helga is in love with Arnold. So she thinks she's got it bad when it comes to hiding her own inappropriate affections from people. But Rhonda has no idea how hard it can be to protect your feelings from coming out when you look at Helga and what that poor girl goes through.

Had to write something HA! related. Love it too much to let it fade away! Sorry I didn't continue my story yet. I realized I need to change a lot of facts in it because I had been making it up as I went along. I forgot Arnold was supposed to live with his parents in San Lorenzo but I parked him and his grandparents in Florida West where I thought it would be a good retirement spot for the grandparents. Oops. But I'm doing my research now! And I'm sorry guys but I REFUSE Rhonda and Curly. _


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